Hi.

September 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 April 2011

But basically, we were discussing about Conditional Love VS Gradual Attraction. I thought this topic was very interesting, because as we went along, it was clear that there is a very fine line between these two. Conditional love might develop into gradual attraction, but at the same time it is very hard to validate this attraction as genuine, because it stemmed from conditional love. Should this relationship be given a shot? I'm pretty undecided about it even now, but I think we should never box our perspectives up, because relationships and emotions are extremely volatile things on their own. Besides, I also thought about the frequency of real mutual attraction. Did many married couples start off by being mutually attracted? Because if they didn't, it could mean that someone was attracted before the other. Which would then lead to many attempts of trying to get the attention of the other person, trying to treat the other person nicer, trying to show the best side of yourself to the other. Which then (I think), is the prequel to conditional love, no? If real, genuine mutual attraction doesn't occur as frequently as we think? then many relationships would have started off the "conditional love" manner. I'm not sure how actual situations are, but I personally believe that it's quite hard for mutual attraction to happen. Walk into a room full of people and it would be relatively easy to find someone you would like to know better, but I think the chances of that person having that same thought are pretty hard to come by.

Another broad topic that came up was the point about boundaries in relationships. The appropriate time to hold hands, to hug, to hold her waist, to kiss. The barriers you'd have to cross for these to happen, and the new ones you'd have to put up to accommodate this new-found liberty with each other. Each person is constantly exploring the possibilities, navigating the boundaries, testing the extremes. And we talked about how to deciding factor was comfort, because it definitely takes time to get used to physical touch from someone else. All these talk made me realize how hard it is to maintain a relationship from beginning to end, how challenging it can get for two people to aim to seek companionship from each other, and yet face decisions like these. It's frighteningly hard.

- Fiona