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Tuesday, 18 May 2010, 17:46
Moments

A while ago, Olivia blogged about needing someone to share those random things that pop into her mind. Here I am, having my moment.

Is it frustration that I feel? Sometimes it's just so annoying to want to say something but not being able to find someone to say it to. Why do I have to speak to different people about different things? Why can't I just rattle everything to one person? I only need one person. One person who I know that I can talk to regardless of where we are, when we are. One person who I know will never leave. One person who will not judge others simply with what I said about them. One person who will be able to give me what I want to hear, what I need to hear.. Am I asking for too much?

I hate to be away for so long. I really do. I have some thoughts running through my mind and some issues that I need opinions on. I want to be able to support you people. Being away disables me. I can't solve any problems this way. Right now, I need to talk to so many people. I want hugs. I need hugs. I can't do that cause I'm here and you're all there.

While we were checking in at the airport in Kunming, Daddy commented that I should treasure the times that I am able to spend with the family. I should be grateful that I have the chance to go on trips with my family and be with them. All these were probably said in reference to the Phnomh Penh trip I asked about. I understand where he is coming from and I wholeheartedly agree with him. Yet, there's just no one I can discuss such a topic about with. How does one strike a balance between friends and family? I am a youngster too. No one else seem to face the same problem as I do. In fact, most friends don't even need to worry about their family saying such things to them. They don't even think about it and no one is able to give me any advice on it.

I hate the situation I am in. Because blaming makes me feel better, I am going put all of this on the person I feel responsible for it all. Sure, you and your family can be so nice and welcoming. It still doesn't change the fact that our lives are ruined. If you didn't initiate the change, I wouldn't have so many troubles. I would be able to live my life more like a young'un.

I had a moment. Instead of saying it to one person, I posted it up on the world wide web. I guess that's the best I can do from where I am.

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