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Thursday, 9 October 2008, 20:55
If this is what I call home

Why does it feel so alone?

I think I'm becoming schizo. Hey, for all you know, I'm already a schizo. A schizo all along. That'll be a logical explaination for my erratic behavior.

Yes, I think I am schizo.

Someone that me to a doctor now?

Come to think of it, I think mental hospitals are really creepy. There have been efforts to try to change that image of the mental hospital. There are also many recent efforts to help the mental patients integrate back into the society. I think it will take a long period before everyone's opinions regarding the place changes. As far as I'm concerned, I think of it as a madhouse. Yes, creepy is the word. I really hope that I'll never have the chance to be admitted in. Actually, I don't even want to be admitted into any medical facilities. Maybe just the times that I have babies?

Away from mental hospitals, I have been thinking about the sun, the sea, and the apple trees.

Hahah, got cha!

When was I ever so... (I can't find the word, roar!)

Anyway, it seems like lately I've placed a lot of importance on my 'me time' which is my personal time. Not that I don't think it's very important normally, it's just that I've been needing more of it. I have no idea why.

And somehow, I feel like I have no life.

No, 'life' to me is not all about going out or having friends or having money. It's about spending time doing things that I enjoy. Without feeling guilty, without being nagged at. It's all about being free to do what you like. I like to read and watch tele and sing - albeit tunelessly - and go out with my friends and chat with them, just so you know. It's almost funny how my peers define 'life' as going out often and perhaps even knowing stuff. Mention that you'd like to stay home and not go out till late, they'd shut you up with a "No life!". Perhaps I'm just like some docile sheep.

Perhaps I just appreciate the need to calm down amid this crazy world.

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